I have a gift. I have discovered I am not like everyone else and I don’t want to be.
What I have learnt in the last year about myself:
I was on auto pilot.
From high school to college I didn’t know what I was doing or why.
I depended so much on my parents, other people, etc to make me happy.
Right now, I feel wonderful. I feel free.
I can do anything I want.
What I like to do– create meaningful relationships, learn from others, save money to do things like this (Texas,) have intense relationships and learn from them, concentrate on myself,
But for now– I need to do me. Learn why I do things, do more studying/reading, concentrate on JUST ME. (For right now….)
But I wont be afraid to travel. I wont be afraid to go to Boston for the night. I wont be afraid to do my health coaching full time.
I wont be afraid to say no, push it into peoples faces. Do what it is I want to do for the rest of my life.
I don’t have to answer to anyone. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. I need to just do me. 🙂
I have to know that I come first. I am the best thing in the world.
I have learnt SO MUCH within the last year and I will one day tell and write my story.
You learn from your mistakes and I deserve to not “work” for a long time. But do AMAZING THINGS eventually. ❤
I have learnt–
Take every chance or opportunity you get.
Learn to just be with yourself.. only.
Learn to say no to the things YOU DON’T WANT TO DO.
Learn to not trust anyone.
Learn to make your life easier.
Learn to take on the world the easiest when you can (the internet.)
Learn to start doing what it is you enjoy.
Learn when to make your life JUST ABOUT YOU.
There is always time to do what it is you truly want. But if you don’t keep to yourself for some of the time, you can’t grow and understand why you are the way you are.
No one knows your story, so treat yourself with kindness.
Start moving on in your own direction, and don’t let others hold you back anymore.
My trip to Texas.
I am heading home. I have been here for about 7 weeks.
Before my trip I expected many things. Which is a lesson learnt. If you expect too much.. then you become disappointed if it doesn’t turn out how you expected.
Before my trip my health wasn’t very good. I wasn’t eating the way I like to. I was yo yo dieting and doing an exercise routine that wasn’t fit for me.
I had just got out of an unhealthy relationship.
I was finishing up school that wasn’t fulfilling and working a job I hated.
I moved to Texas thinking I would be with like minded individuals and was going to have an amazing summer.
But all of what was expected didn’t happen. The opposite actually happened.
I wasn’t focused. A lot of shit happened. I became 100% alone with my thoughts and habits.
I didn’t like what I was seeing but I had no control. I learnt that I had 0 control for my own being. How sad?
It took a lot for me to realize I couldn’t live like this anymore. I was living for other people completely. My obsessions with being thin, and more were for others and not myself. If I started doing what it is I wanted then maybe I would like to be around me. If I started to live for myself then maybe I wouldn’t continue doing what wasn’t fulfilling.
It took me 7 weeks to finally put my foot down and start taking action.
It took me 7 weeks to really understand what my heart wanted and not just what my mind wanted.
It took me 7 weeks to decide how I wanted to live the rest of my life.
It only took me a week to find someone to take my lease over for August.
I am coming back. I am coming back to a safe place to take the time for myself. I am taking 100% time to become the health coach I want to be. I am taking time to create the person I want to be. I am taking all the time I need to become health, happy and live 100% of the time for myself and not let anything else control me (a job, a person, a work out, a diet, etc.) Whatever I want to do I will do so I can help others just like others have helped me.
Don’t get me wrong.. the time spent in Texas was amazing. I met amazing men, women, and adults. I had the time of my life while learning everything there was to know about myself. I have all the confidence I need to continue on. I faced the biggest fear I had (to be alone and be on my own.) Well that is done so bring on the next fear…. which is to start this career for real. To give it the time it deserves. I made the commitment first to enroll in this school and I want to pour my whole heart into it. If you are going to do something, do it right… right? Well… you got it. I have plenty of time to move out on my own and be where I want to be. But I have first have to get my career situated!! Who cares if it is in a different direction then most?
I am a hard working girl and I KNOW what I want now. I had my fun and lessons and I am ready for the next chapter. Bring on the world. Bring on the rest of my life. I am 100% happy with myself and decisions and I am going to show the world what I am made of. 😉
But first… an adventure. I am driving back home and I might as well make the best out of it. 😉
So.. to the rest of my life and the helping of others. Who is with me?!
Slow down world, you can only take full advantage of everything life has to offer if you focus and pay close attention.