I hope everyone is doing well!
I want to thank anyone that takes the time to read my posts. I know everyone is consumed with their own lives and we all wish we had more time to read one another’s post.
My vacation is still going and days are very long. Since I don’t have to really share my time with anyone I am learning how to focus my mind and fully engage in what I am doing. I am learning how much more pleasurable it is to be in the moment. What you see, feel, and discover is magical! It really is.
I have been given the chance to really practice this and be one on one with myself for as long as I need.
I know it sucks for some of you to be alone. I remember this feeling so well. You feel empty, out of control, out of your comfort zone, not real… (I know this BELIEVE me.)
But the more you push and just do it the closer you are to finding answers. Finding the answer to why you feel the way you do and what the true problems are behind not achieving your goals. When you finally face it and give yourself the time…don’t be so hard on yourself! You will still engage in your bad habits, and still want to give up. But don’t! The tougher it is, the better!
I am still struggling after almost a month of being here. A week of complete alone time. It’s tough but 100% worth it.
I am still working on my eating habits. However, the more I struggle the more I WANT to fully engage and focus on my eating because of how much more pleasurable it is TO ACTUALLY TASTE what it is I am eating! I deserve to take as much time on eating as I need to… It is one of the most pleasurable things in life!
Never underestimate yourself. Honestly! I am a different person then I was a year ago. Entirely. My morals, views, beliefs, a lot has changed and that is ok. I am in a different state, with myself (alone) more then ever, and I am so happy. Happy to become real with myself and fully understand what the heck makes Lauren happy.
I am becoming more and more clear as to what triggers my bad habits and what exactly I want to change (what will make me happy.)
WE ALL CAN reach this point. It’s ALL POSSIBLE. You just have to remember we are all human. We all are insecure. We are all wanting the same thing (acceptance, love, and happiness.) But happiness isn’t achieved. It’s a choice we all have. We have to learn to accept ourselves the way we are, to strive for a long and healthy life and achieve it the best way we know how, to be openminded, to cherish our days, to remind the ones we love how much we appreciate them, to fulfill our lives the best way we know how and accept others to do the same. As long as we are TRUTHFUL to ourselves I can’t see any reason to be unhappy!
It’s a life long process believe you me. But I know it can happen… (as soon as we accept that not everyone will accept you and that is perfectly ok!)
But I have realized how at whichever weight I am at the true acceptance comes from within. Yes maybe people pay attention to you more when you lose weight or gain all this muscle. However, in the end YOU ARE ONLY WITH YOURSELF. Strive for health, not a body image. After years and years of self-help, diets, exercise, my happiness factor hasn’t changed. It’s the guilt and anxiety controlling me. But once you let it go.. all you have is pleasure and you make choices based on choice, taste, energy level, fun types of exercise and you don’t feel so controlled anymore. You feel free! Save yourself the time and practice it now and look at yourself for the feeling of achievement and happiness. Not others! Experiment on your own, it could be fun! 🙂