& I will KEEP on moving forward


..this WILL BE a very RANDOM post. 🙂 😛 However, it will be a good one like always. 😉

A lot has happened to me since I arrived to Texas. However, the alone time is giving me all the time I need to FACE my FEARS, LEARN about what I NEED/LOVE/WANT, and encouraging me to not stop for anyone.

1. Yesterday I declared my distored eating will always be with me. I will always think about it, play around with diet and exercise, and always strive for better health. It’s just a part of who I am! 🙂 But don’t let that fool you into thinking I wont be the greatest health coach there is. I WILL BE because I understand, I want to help, I can relate, and my motivation is sky high. 🙂 So what if I am not the healthiest person out there, who said a health coach had to be perfect anyway?! ; )

2. Have you ever told yourself “I can’t wait for the rest of my life!!” I have. I have been feeling like that a lot lately. Ever since I pushed myself and faced the fear of leaving home the more and more I want to push myself to face other fears! To search the unknown! To learn more then all is possible!

3. I get in a groove where I want to taste, touch, and SEE EVERYTHING. I want to read more, cook more, visit more. As the book I am currently reading (Life Is Huge! The Wit and Wisdom of Susan Jeffers) LIFE IS HUGE. We all know something and we all can’t know everything. So I have to tell myself, slow and steady wins the race. I will slowly start learning more, seeing more, and experiencing more. I will never be perfect or know absolutely everything. Think about before the internet. You weren’t able to look up the answers in just one second. People adventured out, then came back and told stories. That’s is how people learnt! The risk takers took the chance while others patiently waited on the information. It’s still like that today! Some like to take chances and explore and others would rather just read about them or be told a story. Are you a story teller who likes to take the risks? Or are you more laid back and like to be told something rather then experiencing it for yourself? It’s explains why some like a very simple/easy diet and some could try absolutely everything and still want to try something new. Everyone is different. Everyone knows something, learn from them. Take what you want from something, discover if you like it or not, and then try something new! The more you try, the more you will begin to love. EVERYONE CAN get use to something but you have to learn to not be ignorant about what you aren’t familiar with.

4. You learn that life is about exploring, teaching, learning, communicating, feeling, observing, happiness, growth, well being, feeling good and not one of those should be accompanied by an obsessive, worried, fearful, or sad mind. It’s a market place and everyone is marketing their own interests, life, and observations whether it’s in school, at home, or on the streets. WE ALL want to share and be liked. But there comes a time when you find yourself that you understand life is HARDER with neediness and expectations and it’s much EASIER to take control of your own life and explore what it is you want to explore and SHARE what it is you have learnt with the ones who want to listen. ❤

5.  Trust rules the world. What makes you believe everything you hear? If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.

6. In the end everyone gets what they want, it just takes time to listen to the soul and not others.

7. I am trying to take this time for myself. To figure out what I want. To figure out what fulfills me.

8. When your young you have no clue who you are, you just move and think with intention. Then others play a role in your life such as parents and friends. They are sending you messages, feelings and attitude that is their intention right? What if they are entirely different then you? As a child you want to be happy and when feelings are hurt most will run to the simple things to make them feel better. Crying, food, and anything “comfortable.” None of which fixes or solves the long term problem. Just the comfort of “right now.” I still have some of those habits. My focus hasn’t been to on track. I am still very confused and out of my comfort zone. However, knowing this.. figuring out who I am CAN ONLY MAKE THINGS BETTER long term. Maybe not everything will be “fixed” right now.. but i’m working on it. It’s funny how much I have gone through life researching information, asking others what they think or looking to them for answers. When I am the only one who knows who I am, what triggers my worry, what ticks me off, and what makes me happy. It’s just hard when the judgmental or easily persuasive people come into the picture and want you to do what they do! I guess that it is what the blog world does, however I honestly want a different strategy. The be yourself strategy and just learn from others and not try TO BE others! 🙂  Because what we care about, look for, and want out of life is ENTIRELY different.

9. I feel better when someone tells me it’s okay or I am told I have to do something. Rather then no guidance at all. I guess it’s time that I have to make the choices of what I want out of life, how I want to live, and practice what I preach. It’s all a part of growing up right?

10. I am learning more and more about myself each and everyday.

11. I need to learn how to slow down.

12. What do we want out of life? The shorter the list, the more likely it is to focus on things that matter.

13. The game of life: You are here alone. You can bring others into this life for family, comfort, and other purposes. However, you have to understand how much your behavior, and abilities affect those beings. You don’t HAVE TO do what everyone else does or behave like everyone else does. The world is a market. What you need most of the time costs money. However you can exchange with other services or just pay with kindness. Be different, unique and caring if that is how you function. Don’t go against your intuition and inner self (just because you can or everyone else is.) Most people like doing what everyone else does and gets scooped onto the bandwagon. Ask yourself: How can you teach others something that you can’t teach yourself?

14. I am a fun, creative, spontaneous, adventurous, sometimes careless, loving, nice, kind, energetic, some-what organized, some-what neat, happy, outgoing, funny, caring, guilty, emotional, thrill seeking CRAZY women. I hate asking for help.. But I think the meaning of life tries to tell us that as humans we can’t BE or DO everything on our own. That’s why “team work” comes into play. Life doesn’t have to be any certain way. Some want it all, some want what everyone else has, some want adventure, some want financial security, some just want to stay alive, some want health, some want love, some want stability, some want a family, some want balance, some want kindness, some want acceptance, some want drama, some want beauty.. we all want something different. So why does the world try and market a perfect, same place for everyone? They seek certain individuals. The individuals who want what everyone else has. But what happens to the gullible, thrill seeking, and easily taken advantage people? They get sold too! Think back 84584960924 years. Life was similar and less stressful. We were learning about humans. The world has always been YOU LEARN AND THEN YOU TEACH. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND HAVE IT ALL. CHOOOOOSE what it is you want and KNOW how you act, behave, what you can tolerate, and what YOU NEED HELP with.

15. What is it that Lauren needs the MOST right now? I need acceptance, GUIDANCE, a plan, comfort, emotion, fun, and logic. I can’t do it all on my own. But I am going to try my hardest to keep all in balance. I know I need more time to organize myself and get things together. I’ll get there. But first.. I need to FOCUS so bad things can stop happening to me. 😉 I also need some FUN to get me to laugh at all the frustration and remember that LIFE is a game. A game without laughter, happiness, and fun isn’t A GAME to me at all. 😉

What do you think?! 🙂

4 thoughts on “& I will KEEP on moving forward

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