May 10th, 2012
Dear 22 year old Lauren,
It’s the 10th of May, 1 day until graduation. Until now, I had no idea just how important education really IS. The value I put on education isn’t anywhere close as to how I value it now.
What you have learnt throughout the last four years is how much your capable of if you put your whole heart into it. You have learnt to be easy on yourself, as being hard on yourself all the time doesn’t get you anywhere. You have learnt to accept each day as a new opportunity. Begin the day slowly, and calmly. You have learnt to be in the moment.
You have come a long way in the last four years. Especially in the last year. You see life through a whole new window. You have learnt to face your fears and accept the discomfort that most things in life will bring you. You have learnt that the discomfort only comes again soon later. The more you accept that you will never feel whole the more you want to do and experience life itself. You learnt that whole feeling is just a myth. Just a way for your mind to trick you into thinking that things could be perfect. But they never will be.
You have come a long way. You now stand up for yourself and what you believe in. You are strong and confident with who you are and what makes you happy. You don’t let others choose your path and road to happiness. You do what feels right, what is fun, and you create your own path to happiness and life.
You have noticed your own strengths and weaknesses. You understand that the weaknesses you have can become stronger with the right individuals you let into your life. You learn that the relationship you have with yourself is most important. You are with yourself all the time. You make the decisions you want to make. If you feel upset, your choosing to be upset. I have learnt to talk to myself and really develop a deep relationship with ME in order to gain control of my life. Your strengths and weaknesses make you who you are. The relationship you have with yourself can be fulfilled with good thoughts, positive choices, and happiness.
You have learnt that life is hard no matter what happens. You will feel a mix of emotions that make life worth living. You believe that family is everything. You believe that if you don’t stay true to yourself and only count on yourself for happiness, who in the end gets hurt?
You believe that family is everything. In the end family matters most. But in order to gain more strength, confidence and to create a new chapter of my own life I have to break free and start on my own journey with the support and love from my family.
I’ve learnt that you are in control of life, it doesn’t control you. You have the option of being happy and choosing to work through any obstacles you have. You have learnt that rush, and the constant feeling of “go, go, go” is only a form of competition. If one continues down this path, WORK controls you.. YOU don’t control you.
22 year old Lauren forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and the choices you made in the past. Use your past as a resource, not a regret. Remind yourself that the choices you once made was all you knew. Love yourself this very second as if you have no other choice. Choose to be happy and remember “you are exactly who you have always wanted to be.”
Dear 22 year old Lauren, the next chapter of your life wont be the easiest. To be honest, it might be painful. But remember, it’s for the best. It’s not only for you, but for the future individuals that will one day be in your life. It’s for your family. It’s for that 11 year old Lauren that didn’t know any better. The past version of yourself was scared to be left alone. The past version of yourself was scared to leave home. The past version of yourself couldn’t sleep alone till she was nearly a teen. However, the future version of Lauren will do the unthinkable. She will do what fears her the most and she will enjoy it because she can choose to.
The power of the mind can rule the body. It can rule everything if you just let be. Change is hard, if it wasn’t everyone would be doing it. But you have to prepare yourself to just let go. Let yourself be free of everything that holds you back.
Because you have learnt..
…that in a blink of an eye, it all can be over.
Forget your past, forgive yourself and begin again.