What happens when you feel “alone.”

It’s been a loooong road for me in the “food” department. As many of you already know my RELATIONSHIP with food hasn’t been ideal. There is no one to blame or point fingers at as to why it’s been this way. It’s honestly just a lack of education.

My reasoning was that food was just food. It fixed things. It made things better. It made things fun. The whole IDEA of going out for ice cream or making sundaes at home was FUN to me. It wasn’t the actual food that was loved.  Half the time the food was enjoyed in less then a second, so really how much of it did I actually enjoy? Again, it was the idea of something new, something different, something fun to do.

Between diets, runs, and both of them combined I never really got to the root of my problems. What was I doing and why? Why did I need to be this certain weight? Why did I need to feel “whole.” Why was being a certain size going to make me feel whole? Why was this certain food going to make me feel better?

Right now, I am still working towards answering these questions. My education at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and other books I plan on reading will hopefully help me to understand the big difference between health/healing/spirituality and just being thin. There is a huge difference in my opinion. The way I have treated my body in the past isn’t acceptable to me anymore and I really just had no idea what I was doing. I am enjoying the time I have with myself to educate and learn what it is we are capable of doing when fueling correctly. Trusting our decisions and ourselves. As well as smiling, playing and loving at the same time.

So what happens when you feel alone? What happens when you feel like no one around you understands or feels the same way you do. Food has become such a large part of our culture. It takes up so much of our time and just plays a huge part in the way we live. I still feel uncomfortable with myself and the choices I make because there is so much controversy in the food culture itself. “Well this person said this, and this person says this.” How are you really suppose to know what to do and what to take for ultimate health results?

You have to get to the root of your own problems. You have to ask yourself questions and get to the truth behind it. You have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You have to know what goals/results are the most important to you. You have to go back in history and understand why it is you made those decisions before and what you wanted to heal at the time. You have to tell yourself that you are smart enough to make your own decisions. You have TRUST YOURSELF and remember that you are 100% whole at this very minute.

I don’t believe in titling myself to any diet. It just leads to me thinking oh.. I can’t have that because…

So who knows if I ever will “have a title” as to which “lifestyle” I am on. I am on the diet where I consume real food. However, I do believe in really cleansing my body. I have treated it so badly in the past that a good clean up is just paying it back with something nice. Think about when you clean out your clothes, or refrigerator.. You have to clean up once in a while to disregard anything that doesn’t make sense to have anymore. We are all evolving. We are all changing for the better. Why keep something around if it’s just an old version of yourself? Same goes as to what was once in your stomach! 

If you have never treated your body that badly (binges, etc..) there may be no reason for you to “cleanse” your body, which is perfectly fine, But for those of us that once had a horrible diet for a long time, or treated the body with no respect.. it’s a little different.

All I can say is that for anyone of us (including myself) to live a happy, worry free life we have to trust ourselves, become confident, and teach ourselves in order to gain ultimate health benefits. In order to fully digest and treat ourselves well we have to stop comparing, or looking to others for answers. Experiment and try something new. As the saying goes.. you don’t know the answer or outcome to something unless you try it out for yourself!

What have I done to improve my health (so far)?
I no longer depend on caffeine (I get enough sleep.)
I quit believing that artificial sweeteners were healthier for me.
I stopped relying on cardio to make me healthy/skinny (It was secretly a way to release calories.). Instead I strive for a fun/adventurous way to exercise. Something that I can see improvement with (such as hot yoga.)
I remind myself that the way I eat is for my mind/heart..etc. With anxiety/ocd it’s very important to me to fuel correctly as it’s a healthier form of medication.

It takes a lot of time and work to live a lifestyle like this. It’s cost me friendships, time, and fun activities. However, it doesn’t have to be like that. I can enjoy the time I have learning and communicating with people who understand and feel the same way! You just have to find them. 😉

What are your recommendations on keeping yourself confident and happy with the lifestyle you live? What do you do in times of unease or uncertainty? 🙂 

2 thoughts on “What happens when you feel “alone.”

  1. I think confidence in your lifestyle comes from seeing the benefits of what you’re doing. If you’re trying this or that and it’s not making you happy…no sense in sitting there uncertain about whether or not to continue down that path. Kick it out, make room for a new experiment and go with what you see the improvements in! I have to continually exploring to stay happy in my lifestyle – if something becomes stale and complacent, something’s gotta change!

    1. I couldn’t agree more! I am constantly looking for ways to improve my habits and routine..

      It’s a part of growing up to! I’ve learnt so much these past four years of college, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

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