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Learning

You have to stop looking for a way out. We learn each and everyday right? Well today I had a billion things I was stressing about! A lot of which I can’t change. Well I could.. if I wanted to drop out of school 3 weeks before I graduate. :p

I made a decision four years ago that I was going to go to school to receive my bachelors degree in Hospitality. After one year I changed that major to Education. A little while later I switched it to Child Development. Last year I switched my major to Business Administration. Talk about a girl who just doesn’t know what she wants to do!

I have had a lot of work experience. I have been working since I was about 13! Between restaurants, school and offices I have done it all. All while balancing work outs and school full time. I guess you can say I am a little worn out and these last papers and exams aren’t going as well as I would hope. I find my mind fogged, lost and drained. All I keep telling myself is “just get it done.” Don’t worry so much about perfection and just worry about getting to the finish line. 🙂

That is something we tell ourselves about life isn’t it? We all worry about whether or not our days, weeks or even life has been perfect. We worry, worry, worry our lives away! However, that isn’t what life is about at all.

Clean air, sun shine, freedom, happiness, laughter, smiles, and control is what my life is about.  

For me? No my food intake hasn’t been perfect. My exercise routine has been quite relaxed. My mind has been going in a 89345 directions. But for my life situation and myself.. I wouldn’t expect anything different. I am finishing up school, I am still living at home (22 years to be exact), trying to jungle a social life, and moving my body as much as I can. No wonder I am stressed to the max and using what I know to calm myself down. Why am I going to be hard on myself for giving myself a little comfort with too much trail mix and chocolate. I know right from wrong and my decisions were made at that second. I can’t look back.

Right from wrong. It’s easy isn’t it. Well, getting the body to understand the mind is one of the most difficult things to achieve. It’s like the mind takes over or something. We tell it do something and it does the opposite. Like hello weren’t you listening? I love myself I really do. The last year has been lonely but has given me the chance to get to know myself. Weird isn’t? But think about it.. you have been in school for what the 22 years? When have you ever gotten the chance to know yourself, or meet yourself. If you are with others all day until you go to bed how are you suppose to really talk with yourself, learn about yourself. You don’t. I didn’t choose to be alone so much this last year.. it sort of just happened. I have had a lot of time to think with a desk job and classes. I have had a lot of time to reflect, think and learn. I honestly needed it because I really had no idea what the hell I was doing before. I was a robot just going through the motions. I had no passion, motivation, or strength to change what I was doing or thinking. Now, I still make mistakes. My mind still takes over. BUT I am 100% aware of what I am doing. I know what triggers it. I know what makes me stressed, anxious or uncomfortable. What comes next? Learning what to do in these situations. 

I am perfect the way I am. I know that. I will never ever have the perfect body. Why? Because I don’t want to. I know 100% what could get me that body. It’s all over the internet. It’s everywhere. Follow these guidelines and you will have the perfect body. But again, I don’t want to. If I did.. I would have that body by now. But part of me is too lazy and not motivated enough. Simply because I am attracted to imperfection. Perfection simply bores me. It’s overrated. However, do I want optimal health? Hell yes.

Having a healthy mind, body and spirit is what I am attracted to. For the HEALTH of it. I have seen what too much medication, poor diet, and no exercise has done. My father is unfortunately a victim. Clear/shiny skin, happiness, worry free, control is what I want. Not perfection. We are all learning to get to that point. It’s hard work but it’s doable. I am perfect right now because I am teaching myself and trying my hardest to be the best version of me. That’s all you can do. I have a lot of responsibility and I don’t have a lot of time. But I am trying. 

What can you do if you are feeling uncontrollable? Listen to yourself and ask this question. What are you striving to be? Is your food controlling you or are you in control.

Tell yourself that no matter what you will never win. You will never feel whole or be #1. You will only be the best you.
Are you doing it for your health or for your body?
Just be. Just live for the day. Live for the health of TODAY. 🙂

I love myself today. I think I am 100% perfect TODAY. I made the best decisions and choices I could TODAY.

Today.. I AM LEARNING. 🙂

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