Awareness ❤

Isn’t it sooo true that we learn something NEW each and everyday?

Well today I was kind of rough on myself.. I am DONE trying to explain to people WHY I eat a certain diet. No.. no one came up to me and said anything. No one was giving me a hard time.. EXCEPT MYSELF.

You see, I ALWAYS question myself on..rather.. rough days. FRIADY’S are always the roughest. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. Probably because I like routine and I know the weekend is coming where there isn’t one. If I am not on SOMEWHAT of a routine I kind of get anxious!

The reason why I bring this up is because I was becoming hard on myself at Yoga. Thinking I should be trying a lot harder. Should be keeping my mind focused and “staying in the moment.” Being critical FOR NO REASON.

This is what happens to me. I feel like I need to become this perfect person. I think thoughts like have I eaten enough today? WORRYING for no reason.

I also think about whether or not this diet I proclaim I am on is for me or for my body? But in the end when I’M NOT counting calories and I am exercising for my “mind.” I remember, I have a past. I am doing this to make me feel at my best. Just like someone  who is  gluten free or someone who is a diabetic. They avoid a food for certain reasons, and this lifestyle I partake in is for my mind. It’s in replace of medication. Natural living is my passion. I have seen what happens when you don’t take care of yourself and that includes stress management, relaxing time, the spirit, the body, etc. I AM NOT going to be perfect nor will I have time to do it all. But if I know what I am putting into my body then I don’t have to worry. This ED led me to find self help, and alternative medication.

SO what if what I am eating isn’t you everyday Starbucks or filled with a bunch of processed cheese. Maybe one day I will change one or two lives with the life I am choosing to live. No I don’t HAVE to live this way but I choose to.. Again, I am not perfect and I am not going to excel at yoga, running, and whatever I criticize myself for. But I am going to excel at keeping myself happy, stress free, worry free to the best of MY ABILITY. Without the dependency of others. It takes me a lot to keep in the moment, stay stress free/worry free, and happy. But you know what? I think I am doing it the best way possible. Staying away from the depending of others and products that aren’t natural. Whose to say we can trust these people when it’s not ourselves. Can you trust you? Why are we trusting others? Shouldn’t we be trusting ourselves first? Trusting our bodies? Getting to the root of the problem rather then just putting a bandaid on it?

I feel like yes I have said this a bunch of times. But I am reminding you and MYSELF that being critical wont get us ANYWHERE. Thinking we have to be the best isn’t the answer. It’s about keeping true to ourselves. Standing up for something! If you don’t stand up for something you will far for anything.

Also, remember to take care of YOU first. Sometimes getting caught up in helping others tends to get in the way. IF YOU AREN’T well then how are you suppose to help others right?!

Remember, LISTEN to your body, TREAT it with kindness. Eat SLOW, eat WISE, and eat WELL.

If you are eating right, there will be no worry that will keep your mind racing. 🙂


Last post thoughts: 

Don’t you see sweetie? You have the choice, you have the control. It’s what you don’t know what is hurting you.

If you have a choice, what’s holding you back?

Lie in your bed. Think deep thoughts and ask yourself, why don’t you thinkYOU HAVE the control. Nothing should be in your control besides YOURSELF.

Which of these makes you more anxious, out of control? What if they were equal and all wrapped up together in a huge ball.

Lying in bed. Stomach grueling. I am asking myself whether or not it’s emotional hunger or actual hunger. I am reading When Food Is Love by Geneen Roth. Why I am scared by some of things she has to say, is it because they are true? – Lauren  


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