Breaking point?!?!

Hello friends!! It has been so sunny this past week and I LOVE IT! I mean look how beautiful it’s been outside?! Amazing!

Last night I went out with a friend and got a salad and tea. As you can see it was delicious and nothing was left on my plate.. 😉

However.. unfortunately, I am at a breaking point. What do I mean?

What I am thinking and what I am doing isn’t in harmony, unfortunately. I think you know by now that food hasn’t been one of the happiest things in life. I binged on peanut butter again. You tell me peanut butter is healthy why are you stressing? I am eating well/clean and exercising so what is the problem? Well there is a big problem. The problem being that I am not mentally well. My relationship with food isn’t where I want it to be. I am not sitting down when I eat, I am eating at the fridge, snacking, and eating way too fast. These things are just as important to keep in line as what I am eating. I am tired of bingeing, tired of not being able to control myself, and tired of not feeling the best I can. So what does this all mean? I need to refocus, a need new plan, I need an ACTUAL plan.

First of all I went to the bookstore with my dad last night. These are the books I am looking to buy. I think it’s my first step in becoming “one” with my food. Learn some new behaviors, learn more about what I am putting into my body, etc.

I read this book while I was in the book store. It seems like the perfect read to really understand what I am doing and why. I think a big part of bingeing, etc is being afraid of hunger, etc. So I really need to do SOMETHING to get myself in order. I know I may be over exaggerating a bit. I mean like I said I eat fairly well. It’s the anxiety I still get while eating that I want to fix. The book is half off what it was in the store so I am going to wait and order it ASAP. 🙂

I also saw this book at the store. I read a few pages and got really into it. So again, I am going to order it online and hope the rest of the reading is just as good! 🙂

I want to learn new things. That is why I want to order this book. I am not making any plan or promise as to what my diet is actually going to look like. I just know that I need something different, some type of cleanse in the future to make myself understand more about what I am doing to my body, how much I am eating, and why I am eating. But for right now a lot of learning needs to be done. Baby steps. 🙂

What else did I purchase today?! Finally a probiotic I have been dying to try! It was discounted about 20 dollars at A Market!

I bought a few of these chocolate bars. I know I was talking about a cleanse and now I am showing you chocolate. But I want to understand the meaning of food and the meaning of a cleanse before I start one. I still have to eat right? Therefore, having some healthy all natural chocolate while I am learning isn’t bad. I am already trying to slow down my eating, sit down while I am eating and have bigger “meals” so I am not snacking all the time. Again it’s not that my food intake is bad it’s how I am eating I am disliking. I am a work in progress. 😉

On a happier note.. I had a few FRESH dates at the store. They were amazing. So gooey, filling and delicious. I will most definitely be going back for more!

The point of this post is to tell you that I am not perfect. I still struggle, progress, and learn every single day. I think we all do. But if I want my future and mind to align with what I actually do, I have to make changes. I have to learn more. I have to want it. Which I know deep down inside of me that it’t what I want. I want to share my story, struggles and values with others. I know I can do it and I know one day it’s all going to be worth it. 🙂 I will eventually be “one” with my food and I will inspire and encourage others to do the same. 🙂

I have been reading a lot of Detoxinista‘s blog. She has some great recipes I want to try such as the Vegan Banana Walnut Bread Cookies! I really like a lot of what she says and will continue to read her blog! 🙂 Again, I truly believe there isn’t one correct way that works best for everyone. I believe in experimenting with yourself and with how you eat. Just like what Emily Levenson said to me just the other day..”the only way to know for sure is to switch it up and see how you feel!” Which I already love doing. 🙂

Oh and I received my sample of  Chocolate Achieve from Clare at Fitting It All In!

How cute, wonderful and beautiful is this lady?! Thank you so much Clare I can’t wait to try it. 🙂 Good luck with your cleanse next week! 🙂

I also received some samples of Epics Protein from Earth Source Organics!

I really wanted to try the protein before actually buying it so I sent them an email asking if I could receive a sample first. They gladly sent me four different ones in the mail! I’ll be sure to review their products and let you know what I think. 🙂

What is the best thing you have learnt so far?

What lifestyle works best for you and why? Don’t be shy, let me know what I actually have a viewer or two besides my mom. 😉

Thanks.. ❤ always Lauren. xoxo

3 thoughts on “Breaking point?!?!

  1. TOTALLY 100% know how you feel. People always tell me “but you eat so well you’re so skinny” whenever I’m feeling bad about my eating, but its’ about my RELATIONSHIP with food, not how much I’m eating. If I’m snacky and don’t feel in control or good about it, that’s not good. I still work on it too!

    1. That’s the thing. Not many people actually goes on. No one sees me with a peanut butter jar. No one FEELS how I do when I eat. But you know what? I don’t want to be that person anymore. No matter anyone else’s view.. I AM going to learn, educate myself and do what is right for ME. 🙂 It’s going to be my diet, my life and my new love for food. ❤

      ❤ xoxox

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