Sometimes A lot of the time you have to stop listening to others and experiment for yourself to find answers.
I grew up with a very loving family. My parents love me to the moon and back, sometimes too much where I don’t receive enough discipline and order. ( That’s where my boyfriend comes in… ) Sometimes I think that if I did receive more order or discipline in my childhood my OCD wouldn’t have been as much of a problem. Maybe I would have learnt more self-control techniques or cognitive behavioral methods. But then again maybe the way they raised me was for the best. Stress is a huge contributor to symptoms and they did keep me calm, relaxed and comfortable. So, who really knows what would have happened?
All of this is hard to understand if you haven’t been exposed to an individual with OCD or haven’t had trouble with it yourself. But I can tell you that both my distorted eating and OCD symptoms have played a huge role in my life. Each at different and at various times. A remember a summer back in 2008 where my OCD was out of control. I was dealing with a lot of stress from an ex boyfriend. I will never forget that summer. But I have become a lot stronger since then. A LOT stronger. I keep it as a past memory that I never want to relive again, and I wont if I keep true to myself and true to my heart. ❤
My distorted has come, gone, and come back again and again.. But I CAN tell you I am the strongest I have ever been with it. Don’t get me wrong.. I am still focusing on self-help, self-discipline, and creating healthy habits for myself. It’s a life time progress!
But how do I do it? How do I get through it all without therapy and medication? How have I gotten through it? Don’t get me wrong.. At the times where my obsessive thinking, and compulsions were really bad I did see a therapist and take medication. I have only seen one therapist who I actually loved talking to. However, I had to leave because my insurance wouldn’t be covered by her any longer. The medication thing wasn’t for me. The fear of the side affects scared me the mos. I also didn’t see any dramatic change and it just didn’t feel right taking something to “help” me. The problem I see with medication is that it doesn’t solve the “problem.” It’s like a bandaid. It helps and covers up the problem but it doesn’t make it disappear. It’s still there and isn’t getting to the root of the problem (in my opinion.) Does this mean it wont work for you or help you to any degree? Of course not. We are all different. We have different pasts, we are different ages, we have different stress levels, etc etc.. I also don’t believe there is one answer that is best. However, I do believe in a well thought-out plan to help solve the problem(s). A plan that will help reach your goals, happiness, and answers to life and illness.
So how do I do it? How do I live a happy, simple, and stress-free life? I don’t. However, I try my hardest and balance out my life where it’s easier, less stressful, very happy and more on the simple side. I believe in creating good/healthy habits. Are mine perfect? Hell no. It’s a work in progress! But have I grown more confident in myself and my life? Yes. Have I educated myself about the illness, distorted eating, and health? Yes. Have I Am I still teaching myself to have a good relationship with food? Yes.
Doing the following: is my medication
– Exercise/movement in my day
– Healthy eating/getting my fruits and vegetables in daily
– Writing/blogging/talking with others
– Learning/researching/applying what I learn
-Very minimal caffeine/alcohol into my diet
These things ARE my medication. And every time I think why am I doing this? Why am I different? Why do I restrict myself? I remind myself that it’s for the best. It’s what I have to do to stay well, healthy, and sane. It’s important to me that I stay calm, relaxed and stress-free. It’s also important I keep myself on a diet where my symptoms are hardly there. I DO TRULY believe in self-help, cognitive behavioral therapy, and a medication free life. Unfortunately, my father didn’t have the resources at his finger tips like I did. I took it upon myself to do the research and find answers because I wasn’t going to let the illness take control or “win.” I wanted to beat it, I wanted to find the answers and alternative medication. That’s why I truly believe in holistic health. Unfortunately, my did IS on a lot of medication, is over weight and stress/annoyed with the fact that he got himself into this mess.
So why am I bringing all of this up? Why am I rambling about my life and what I did to get well? Well, this comes up everyday. I think about it daily sometimes hourly because it’s who I am, it’s my past, present and future. It’s a life time battle between myself and I. But I am ok with it. I constantly write down notes and quotes during the day to remember the lessons I learn every day. It reminds me that it is possible. All my dreams are!
My dad deserves happiness and health. We all do. I hope to one day be able to do this for life. I want to get my dad to that happy place. I want to help, inspire, and encourage others to find answers. Find alternative ways to be free and not depend on something that will only serve as a band aid. If I could do it, you can do it. It is POSSIBLE. Most importantly you CAN’T GIVE UP. No matter if a bad day comes or continues. You have to believe and put your WHOLE HEART into it.
I want to learn more, study more, see more, help more because it not only gets others the key to happiness but keeps myself in line and in that “happy place.” What could be better then that??