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Well, I had written the best blog post today. It was beautiful. Just, beautiful. When I was about to post it, my current screen froze. 😦 But I have been trying to learn not to dwell on stupid stuff like that. It’s a waste of time because you can’t change the past. It’s history right? 
What I discussed in the post previous to this one, the one that got deleted, was about life. I know I love discussing about life. But there is just something about writing about life that keeps me going. I love writing about thoughts, observations, etc. To think I only have one life, one lifetime to experience whatever I want. Be anybody I want, is exciting.
Think about it, life is a storybook. You are the main character but you are also the narrator. Your writing your own story. Your own chapters. Right now I am in a deep chapter and I can’t wait for the next chapter to start. Well, I can wait because I am most certainly not finished with this one. But what is scary is that in one second I could change my main character, myself, to be someone else. Be a completely different “character.” But I don’t want to. I want to continue to be, me. Me is better. Me is me. Me is someone I want to continue as. Because, well, I love me. 
I am creating myself, not finding myself. I am creating a character in my storybook. My new first expectation for myself is to take care of myself. This is now the most important thing. To make sure I am living healthfully and happily. I don’t know why I am thinking this is NOW the most importantly thing to do but I am happy about it. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself when I see so many different women all the time and you know what? None of them are perfect like we are all striving to be. Yes there are beautiful women. Big chested women. Skinny women. Fat women. Ugly women. But you know what? We are all amazing. We are all amazing because we are all surviving and living. Living to experience the world. Living to create lives. Living to just live. Who cares if we have a role. Who cares if we have a wrinkle. It just means that as much as we may want to be, we will never be perfect. We will never be complete in a way we wish. We all have battles to work on and we are trying to survive. Survive. Did we forget this was a part of life. Surviving is what we have been trying to do over the years. We may have been more concerned with consuming then living. We want, we want, we want. That’s all people think about. Don’t get my wrong I get like that to. It’s hard staying focused when your surrounded by consumers all the time. But I try my hardest to stay in the moment. Honestly, when I practice it I notice myself happier and healthier. Because when you want, depend, and strive for more it takes away from what you do have. Therefore, you become sad. Sad that you don’t have something that you think you want. But you don’t want it, and you don’t need it. You have all you need to survive. More then enough. But the world thinks different and makes you want more and more to benefit themselves. Which isn’t healthy. 
Stay focused. Stay focused on yourself. Yeah it sounds selfish but it really, isn’t. At all. You are just reminding yourself to concentrate on what matters most, your health. Yourself. If you can’t take care of yourself and keep yourself happy then what makes you certain that you can take care of someone else. If you don’t want to then that is different but most of us have someone else in their life they are taking care of besides themselves. Whether it is a parent, sibling, significant other, etc. You NEED to make yourself healthy, not perfect, healthy. Happiness, diet, exercise, stress-free all play into this. Trying your best is all you can do and most likely it will be good enough if your mind is in the right place. Again, perfection isn’t real but working hard is. 
Life is simple, it is suppose to be. But when we take it too seriously it changes everything. Again with the chicken joke, don’t cross over to the other side. Don’t be afraid to live. When your afraid to live it effects your mind. It effects the way you think, thinking you aren’t a strong enough person. When, in reality, you are. Live, smile, and be thankful you are given another day. But in one second, your life could be over. Over forever. You don’t know when this will happy or why it had to happen but it can. It just happens sometimes with no answers as to why. So be thankful. Be thankful for your health. Be thankful for your family. Be thankful for your creations and goals. That is what life is about. Creations, talents, speech, relationships, connections, creativity, smiles, laughter, memories, abilities, laughing, crying, music, lyrics, writing, learning, feelings … and so on. That is what life means to me. The things we feel, see, and are thankful for. Most importantly, they aren’t things. They are more then that. They don’t cost anything. They are the best things out of life we forget about because they aren’t materialistic. There better. 
Laying here with my boy reminds me how thankful I am to have him. Yeah, he isn’t perfect but neither am I. Yeah he isn’t talkative but sometimes the peace and quiet is more enjoyable. Yeah he isn’t too social, but honestly it’s comforting to know how much I can trust him. When we do talk and socialize it means that much more because I don’t get it all the time. It is nice to cherish the time we do have and not take advantage of it. I think we are good match, especially right now. Because right now, today, is all I have. Tomorrow isn’t here yet and yesterday is gone. All I have is RIGHT NOW. This moment, and that is IT. 
Be happy, because you can be. Be happy because it feels good. Be happy because you are ALIVE. Sadness is there and it also be a choice. But who really wants it? Who wants to choose sadness over happiness. Why is anyone ever sad? Because life isn’t going their way. But you know what? Your choosing that. You are choosing the way you want your life to be. So blame others. You are being the chicken setting yourself into something that is making you sad. You have the freedom to change it. Change whatever is making you sad. So blame yourself, no one else. Yourself. Yeah it is going to be hard. Life is hard. But maybe it is better being sad. If it too hard, then so be it. Choose to be happy because your alive and things could be worse. If you can’t do what you love, love what you do. 😉 xoxo 

Why do I like writing?
 I like writing because it keeps me in the moment. There isn’t anything else you can be focusing on when your writing, it isn’t possible right? You are deep into typing the very words being created. You are in complete thought. Being in the moment is hard for me to do so this is a way to practice. It’s also soothing, relaxing, and therapeutic. My past therapist always told me to write to help with symptoms and up until now, I never believed her. 

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