Today is November 24, 2011. I am twenty one years old. I am currently living in my basement. My mother and her friend helped to clean it up, and make it my own. It’s absolutely wonderful! This is one thing I am very thankful to have. Although I didn’t get a chance to move out of my house yet I am very thankful to have a warm bed to sleep in and enough privacy to be on my own.
My mom is a wonderful person and I am so thankful to have an understanding and giving women in my life. As much as I wish she was more strong willed and not as easy going as she is, she is the perfect mother for me.
My dad is also a huge support in my life. He wants me to be happy. He loves me more then any father can love his daughter. I know we all have our own struggles and I know he has is. I want whats best for him but I know he is the only one who can help himself. He is the only person who can strive for things that he wants. He is the only one who can get himself to change what he wants to change.
Of course my little baby brother. He is now 15. He is driving with an adult and it was just yesterday that I can think back to when that was me. Driving with my mother and father. Waiting patiently for that day to come where I can get my license. How the hell does time go by so quickly. I can see that day perfectly that I failed my first driving test. Heading back to school in tears because I didn’t have my license in my hand to show off. Butterflies in my stomach because, oh dear, what if someone makes fun of me for it. Isn’t quite unfortunate how sick we get because of what someone might say to you? Yes, that happened a lot. As you grow older you realize how much it shouldn’t have mattered. There is no value to you whether or not someone makes fun of you. They are obviously insequre and it is what everyone else is doing, so they do it too.
My future children, if you ever read this. Understand, if you show how powerful, amazing, and beautiful you are others don’t have any other choice but to believe it. But if you show how insecure and scared you are, then that is what they will believe. I never had the women power to show off whatever it was that god gave me. I never had reassurance of knowing who I am, sticking to it, and embracing it with all I have. I felt scared, and anxious all the time. Scared to show who I was because of fear. My parents wanted what was best for me but they didn’t understand how important it is to let go. Let go and let your child dive into the world alone. When a child is crying or scared letting them face their fears is important. Letting them figure out their own answers and ways of coping. But when you help them and heal the temporary pain they have the ability to solving their own problems.
Remember, everyone has their own struggles. This world is pretty crazy. Things will be invented and the world will grow. But nothing ever changes. We are all trying to find a place in the world. We are all creating ourselves to be the best. We are all confused. We are all trying to figure out what the heck this life is suppose to be.
But I know one thing. If you only depend on yourself to make you happy then you can never get hurt. If you never depend on anyone but yourself then you can never get upset. Choose carefully who you let into your life. Never degrade yourself for someone. Accept who you are and move on with your life. Choose what’s best for you. There is never a wrong way of doing something. As long as your not hurting others then you are all set. Choose your own ways, and views. Never back down because your scared of others not accepting something. They are just insecure or scared because your way is different. Different and change scares a lot of people. But don’t let it scare you. Embrace it because it’s different, and new. Be you.
Again, today is Thanksgiving. I am going to try my hardest to stay in the moment. Take it easy and slow. Grasp every moment, smell, and taste I can. Be thankful that I have a warm house and that I am not starving. I have food, family, and this moment which I will never get back again. I wish you a great Thanksgiving whoever you are reading this. I thank you for taking the time to do so. I love life, the earth, and the education I have. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to write to this very blog post.